Culture Shock

As I get older and slowly figure out my life, there is one question that still runs through my head to this day, “What would I be doing if I was still in Ethiopia?”  If I were in Ethiopia, I would be married and probably have three kids but without my consent. I would be struggling because the life I have was chosen and every day would be a struggle. Learning to be a mother would be something that I would figure out without being taught. My life would be the total opposite of my current life. Another thing I would be doing is figuring out how to provide for my family and making sure they stay healthy with very little food and water. Reflecting on how my life would be in Ethiopia is kind of a constant reminder of not forgetting my first home and the importance of my culture.

Leaving Ethiopia was by far the biggest culture shock of my life. The faces I was used to were soon replaced with new ones that I never knew existed. I went from seeing all black people to pretty much all white people and was constantly aware that I stood out. The different colors and designs on people’s clothes were quite fascinating and made me so speechless because who knew there could be such cool clothes? My mind was overwhelmed and filled with questions but with no way of communicating them; I hadn’t yet learned the English language. Everything stood out more in America because that was the point. I was used to everyone dressing and looking the same and not trying to stand out from everyone else.

The hardest part of the transition was going to the orphanage and never having the chance of saying goodbye to my friends and family, which forever left me heartbroken. As I made my way to the massive machinery (which I later found out was an airplane) I was terrified. I had only ever known my feet. I also didn’t know this was goodbye to my country. And as we flew away, my heart thumped. All I could do was look forward and brace myself for my new life in America. My new life in America has made me question all the rules kids have. They’re good, but I saw the real world from a totally different perspective and had to fend for myself. Living in the U.S. changed the person I was. Some for the better and some for worse. The person I was in Ethiopia was brave and took risks, but in America, I didn’t really see myself as that. 

The world I left behind taught me so much and I am learning to truly be thankful for what you have at the moment and the relationships we can build by hearing how people overcome certain obstacles. Undoubtedly, culture is an essential part of everyone’s lives and not only yours but that of the people around you. Leaving one culture doesn’t mean leaving my heritage or forgetting it for good. Instead, when I left Ethiopia my culture was on hold and I had to adapt to a new way of life. For example, education was not even a consideration in my mind, but before I knew it I was enrolled in an elementary school.  People in Gondar, Ethiopia never will get this opportunity. My English was pretty choppy and every time I went to school I was stared at constantly. There were a lot of insecurities from a young age. Some of the insecurities lasted all through elementary school and high school as well. My senior year I learned to accept myself and not be ashamed or worried about how people perceive me. The way I refer everything to my life in Ethiopia is kind of a coping mechanism; I know that my life there had a lot of struggles so it makes me feel like I have it good here and can’t really complain because my life there wasn’t the greatest.

The opportunity of experiencing a new culture is so important, but at some point you have to go back to your roots and find yourself all over again. The opportunities I have include education, a roof over my head, and the discovery of a new country. Knowledge of education is something I really value and wish everyone could experience back home. Hopefully one day I can help with making that happen while keeping their culture and language intact. Bringing education there is one of my greatest dreams. If I had the opportunity of trying something new, then so should they. There is so much more to people who are adopted than the parts that make people immediately pity them. It’s hard to figure out how to explain my story depending on the person or crowd because they already have a scenario in their head about my life which makes it challenging to tell them at all. I miss my family above all else, though I gained a new one but never will forget how my life all started. With pain and a different lifestyle in Ethiopia, I would never give up or forget the memories of my life. It’s hard not to repeat or have the mindset of how my life would be in Ethiopia at any given moment. Leaving and not being back weighs on my heart because there is so much of me that is still in that country, and I have a yearning to just go. But how? 

There is so much more to everyone’s story than we think, and assuming is the first mistake. Moving to the United States has helped me in understanding cultural differences and balancing more than one at a time. If I was in Ethiopia I would not have the right to speak up for myself, and every day I would be unsure and not able to live out a life that I chose for myself. One day I will go back and see how life is there with a new set of eyes and older age, then  maybe that will be my answer to how to combine both cultures and see the good in both. 

Selamawit