Almost everyone I know has a scar of some sort. Perhaps a reminder of an unpleasant occurrence like falling off of a bike, remnants from a surgical procedure, or a physical reminder of a car accident. Almost everyone I know has a scar. Each scar is a permanent reminder of something bad that happened. Each scar has a story.
We all know that not all scars serve as a reminder of physical pain. I would venture to say that every one of us also carry emotional scars. Although emotional scars are often difficult to detect because they are not visible, they also tell a story, just as physical scars do for each of us. For many years, I considered myself broken, damaged, and scarred beyond repair.
My name is Trent Taylor and I am now 20 years old. By no fault of my own, I was born into a family filled with extreme dysfunction. My earliest years were filled with domestic violence, extreme neglect, and extensive sexual abuse. I find it difficult to adequately describe the pain and suffering I endured. After a few traumatic years with those who gave birth to me, I was taken into the foster care system at the age of four. I spent my early childhood traveling from one foster home to another. I would like for you to think about how difficult it is each time you experience a change in life. Now imagine, for just a moment, that you are asked to gather your few pathetic belongings, place them in a trash bag, and move to the home of a complete and total stranger. This happened to me not once, but five times over the course of my first eight years. Each move came with a new school, new rules, and new adults in my very fragile life. Fear dominated my existence. I feared for my safety, I feared I would starve, I feared continued sexual abuse, I feared that I would not be able to keep my younger brother safe, and I feared I would NEVER have a family to call my own. Although my foster placements were not exactly ideal, I was introduced to God very early on and was able to cling to the hope that He had a plan for my life. I was young, but I kept hearing about this God who loved me no matter what. At a young age, I was given a dog tag with Jeremiah 29:11 printed on the front. “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm, plans to give you hope and a future” I clung onto that verse each night as I cried myself to sleep and prayed for a family to call my own.
I am happy to say that my prayers were answered at the age of nine when my biological brother and I were adopted by two people that are now my mom and dad in every sense of the word. God delivered me to a family that never once wavered in their un- conditional love and support as they walked my painful healing journey by my side. The truth is, early trauma changes who you are. You can either let it take you, or you can decide to fight it. I was determined to fight.
Over time I was able to come to dramatic levels of healing as my adoptive family led me to the true healing that is found in God. I am not a victim, and I am not damaged goods. I am a strong christian young man, devoted to God, devoted to family, and devoted to using my painful past to now help others.
It may sound crazy, but I am thankful for my past pain. It is part of my story. Because I have been in those dark places, I can now help lead others to the light. Without question, the most rewarding part of my work is when I can help others find healing in God. My greatest wish is for others to find the same healing that I have found.
For me, a critical part of the healing journey was to acknowledge the scars from my past pain. I would not have been able to do this on my own. My adoptive family was by my side in my pain and pointed me to the healing found in God at every turn. Although it was not rational, I felt that others could see my emotional pain and scars despite my best efforts to hide them. As I began to find true healing in God, He transformed my thinking and I began to view my scars differently.
You see, scars are a sign that, while deep pain has occurred, so has healing.
A scar serves as a reminder that a difficult story may exist behind the marks, but that you have come through it to tell others about the healing. I now view scars as a badge of honor and courage. God does not give us scars to remind us that we have been hurt, He gives us scars to remind us that we are being healed!
Jesus’ scars were the real deal. Deeper physical and emotional pain than we could ever fathom as he hung from the cross with spikes through his hands and feet. After he rose from the dead, the scars remained to serve as an indication of the suffering He endured for each of us. It’s truly amazing to think that Jesus’ scars indicate the story of our salvation.
This just serves as a reminder that there is deep beauty in all of our brokenness. My scars exist from my time in foster care, but it’s important that we acknowledge that we all carry pain. We simply must learn to view these scars as beautiful, just as God views each of our stories. I feel like we bring honor and glory to God when we reveal the purpose in our pain.
Our scars, both internal and external, tell our stories. Those stories include hurt, pain and brokenness, but ultimately they reveal the true healing found in God and the beauty that we can find in the hope of everlasting life. I don’t know about you, but I view my scars as a little gift from God that serves as a reminder of the healing He has provided. I give God all the glory for my healing and for my scars that I now view as a sign of the strength I have found in HIM! My hope is that I can help others do the same. Whatever it is that keeps you from living the life that God has designed for you, GIVE IT TO HIM! I am thankful for the scars.
Trent Tayler