“I definitely feel that if I wasn’t adopted my life would be different and probably better. Adoptees are taken from everything, their culture, family, birth mother, country, and people expect us to be ok. My number one trauma growing up, and still until this day, is not knowing who my birth mother is. It’s been frustrating to know how many birthdays, holidays, graduations, and achievements of mine that she’s missed.”
Category Archives: Blog Post
Hope for India’s Orphans
“There is Hope. I came from the streets to become a proud, hardworking family man with the help of loved ones whom I call family. Without them I would not exist. One decision from my parents gave me a life that I am so thankful for. Imagine the impact we can make in other children’s lives if we just step out and love.”
A Space for Grief
“It still happens now. Though the phrasing is different since I’m an adult, the message is still the same: You are lucky. You are living a golden and blessed life. You couldn’t ask for anything more. In recent years, beneath my acquiescent nod and affirming smile, a new question has been churning. Where, in all of this, is the space for grief? Where, in your definition of me, is the space for me?”
A Difficult Path to a Hope Filled Future
“One of the things that I struggled with when I was first adopted was bonding with my new mom. This went on for quite a while. I bet my mom thought this would go on forever. If there was one person that I was the rudest to, it was definitely my mom. But as I look back I realize that no matter what kind of trouble I got myself into, I knew that my mom loved me no matter what.”
Culture Shock
“There is so much more to people who are adopted than the parts that make people immediately pity them. It’s hard to figure out how to explain my story depending on the person or crowd because they already have a scenario in their head about my life which makes it challenging to tell them at all. I miss my family above all else, though I gained a new one but never will forget how my life all started. With pain and a different lifestyle in Ethiopia, I would never give up or forget the memories of my life.”
Brokenness in Adoption
“From the outside looking in, it can appear I have been sent to the most glorious summer camp. I live in the world of endless food, education, opportunity, resources, etc. But from the inside looking out, I am like a child at summer camp who is never allowed to return home — always grateful for what I have but always grieving what I have lost. The complexity of being an adoptee is feeling conflicting emotions. This is okay.”
Birthdays
“Birthdays: they happen every year. For the adoptee, this could be a celebration or it could be traumatic. I first recognized the parallel between celebration and painful trauma when I was 18 years old, turning 19, and a freshman in college. That was a pivotal year for me in shaping my identity and deciding to become a Christian (yes, God chose me). The celebration is being surrounded by friends and family for the year that I was born. The trauma is thinking about my biological mother, my birth country, and my strained relationship with my brother.”
Love and Acceptance
“Feeling loved is something that I have always wanted to feel in life. Growing up, I was told that I never smiled. I wasn’t happy. On the outside I seemed normal. I smiled when I felt like it, but on the inside I often fought back tears and struggled with the pain that I felt. I was different and I knew it. I didn’t have the same life story as all of my friends and family members, and I always wanted to be with my birth mom. I knew that I had two families. I knew them and I knew where they were and how to contact them. I felt abandoned and rejected by them. The people who should have loved me the most weren’t there.”
A Letter to My Birth Mom
“To a certain extent I blamed you for the hardship of trying to find my identity. I believed, until recently, that you are the reason for my suffering. But mom, you are not. You did what you thought was best for me, but the journey has been long and the road getting here harder.”
The Prayer of My Broken Heart
“Truth is that I have been told so often that I am loved, and worthy of so much more — that God offers me freedom and abundant life….but it feels like in this life, actions speak louder than words. The only action that I am constantly reminded of, which plays on repeat in the recesses of my mind is the fact that I was left behind. That I was abandoned.”