Most of you reading this have probably never experienced what I am about to tell you, but you must have bypassed places like this if you have ever been in India. Did you know that more than 60% of the 1.2 billion people live on less than 100 rupees a day; millions of children run on the streets not going to school; women have no value; alcoholism is rampant among the men. It’s the 4th most dangerous country for women to live in. Most of the families living here subscribe to the Hindu worldview of karma and reincarnation.
My parents, two older sisters and I lived in a tiny home with just two rooms on the outskirts of Bangalore city. My father himself came from a broken home having lost his father at a young age. Being extremely poor despite hard work, he drank daily to forget the pain and poverty and wasted away what little money he made. He was often abusive to my mother and us kids.
One day, when I was just 5 years old, my mother, in utter desperation, set fire to herself and died before my eyes, leaving me with horrible memories. Karma teaches that when something bad happens to a person they must have sinned in their previous life which needs to be paid for, thus deserving their current suffering. Also, a person with bad karma can pass it on to others. So, because I had witnessed my mother setting herself on fire and dying, nobody wanted me around. I felt the horrible pain, loss and abandonment!
Ten thousand miles away, a couple in New Jersey, Peter and Vanita, heard about my horrible family situation and felt led by God to adopt this unwanted, broken child – it was God’s providence. They went through a rigorous adoption process, and I came home to them 8 months later! I came to a new culture needing to learn a new language, and they gave me a new name, Sandeep, which means light! With all of these changes, the transition was not easy, and I was also suffering from severe post-traumatic stress. Adoption was a very lonely and difficult walk for us, as it is sadly not accepted by most in the Indian community.
Some of the reasons for this lack of acceptance are deeply ingrained in our culture. My adoptive parents had the huge responsibility of helping me “live,” and we all struggled.
As the years progressed, I became very angry at God, my adoptive parents and my birth father for my trauma and losses. I told my adoptive parents that I would never become a Christian because it did not make sense to me why a loving God could allow my mother to die that way. It was a strong spiritual battle for my soul because human adoption is a reflection of God’s adoption of us into His family. What do I mean by this? The Bible tells us that because of sin we have chosen to separate ourselves from God so each one of us is a spiritual orphan, but God chose to adopt us into His family through the death and resurrection of His son Jesus – Ephesians 1:4-5, “He chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will.”
God chose adoption before the foundations of the world. He paid a huge price to purchase our freedom – while we were hopeless and lost in sin, Jesus’ died on the cross as payment, and He then offers the free gift of eternal life to us. Romans 6:23, “For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Similarly, I was lost, abandoned and hopeless, and my parents by God’s grace did whatever it took to adopt me into their family. Since I was coming into a Christian home, Satan hated and severely attacked my family and me.
Towards the end of my freshman year of high school, Satan’s attacks on me were the strongest, and my parents almost thought they had lost me as I was very angry, depressed and rebellious. God in His mercy continued to hold onto them even when they were discouraged and tempted to give up, granting them wisdom and grace to love me and put strong boundaries around me. Finally, in September 2009, after rebelling and struggling for 11 years, I surrendered my life to Jesus and found peace and joy for the first time in 17 years! John 1:12, “But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God.”
Looking back on my life, God’s grace has been extremely evident throughout. There have been pivotal events in my life which God has used to steer me according to His purposes. I had very deep anger against my birth father, and I carried the heavy burden of unforgiveness for 11 years – after I surrendered, I found freedom as God gave me the grace to forgive. It’s not the new life that my adoptive parents gave me which changed my fate but the eternal life God has given me through Jesus that changed my life from bad karma to unbelievably good eternal karma as the beloved Son of God, the Creator of the universe.
My life is a miracle, and the entire glory goes to Jesus. He chose me, He loved me, He provided for my needs and He carries me through life! I know that once I was hopeless, but today in Him I have eternal hope. My prayer in sharing my story is that anyone who has not found that hope will find it in Jesus……no one needs to be an orphan……we can be adopted and live as sons and daughters of The King of Kings and God of Gods! 1 Peter 1:3-4, “According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you.”