“I thought I was pretty well adjusted. I could articulate my feelings about being adopted clearly, and I had made peace with the perpetual unanswered questions that come with being adopted. There was just one catch—my physical body didn’t agree.”
Author Archives: Admin
Preparing for Mother’s Day
“Mother’s Day is one of those holidays that most people lean into. After all, what could be more appropriate and simple than honoring one’s mother? Yet many adoptees struggle with this holiday because it carries painful reminders of family lost, trauma survived, and relationships broken.
If you’re adopted and struggle with this holiday, we wanted to provide some resources in preparation.”
The Messy Middle
“I had picked up a copy of Stuff White People Like. I was flipping through the pages, stifling my laughter. It was spot on, and I said to Patrick, “I have to get this for Tricia.” That’s when he reminded me that neither of us is white.”
Life of an Indian Adoptee
“I definitely feel that if I wasn’t adopted my life would be different and probably better. Adoptees are taken from everything, their culture, family, birth mother, country, and people expect us to be ok. My number one trauma growing up, and still until this day, is not knowing who my birth mother is. It’s been frustrating to know how many birthdays, holidays, graduations, and achievements of mine that she’s missed.”
Zoom Community Discussion
“As adoptees, what do we want from an adoptee community? Let’s build together!”
Hope for India’s Orphans
“There is Hope. I came from the streets to become a proud, hardworking family man with the help of loved ones whom I call family. Without them I would not exist. One decision from my parents gave me a life that I am so thankful for. Imagine the impact we can make in other children’s lives if we just step out and love.”
A Space for Grief
“It still happens now. Though the phrasing is different since I’m an adult, the message is still the same: You are lucky. You are living a golden and blessed life. You couldn’t ask for anything more. In recent years, beneath my acquiescent nod and affirming smile, a new question has been churning. Where, in all of this, is the space for grief? Where, in your definition of me, is the space for me?”
A Difficult Path to a Hope Filled Future
“One of the things that I struggled with when I was first adopted was bonding with my new mom. This went on for quite a while. I bet my mom thought this would go on forever. If there was one person that I was the rudest to, it was definitely my mom. But as I look back I realize that no matter what kind of trouble I got myself into, I knew that my mom loved me no matter what.”
Nature and Nurture
“I had grown up with my adoptive mother always putting the emphasis on nurture, and this makes sense. Because as an adoptive parent, she believed that she and my father had the formative weight on their side, that they were shaping me to be the person I would become. Nature wasn’t that important, nurture was the more important dynamic. I would say that I started to question that a couple years ago. I don’t know how to say it other than that my own body, my own psyche, started to feel the presence of “nature.””
An Interview with Kelley Nikondeha
“One of the changes for me is that I do not want to be telling everybody to adopt. When I was younger, even as an earlier adult I would have told most people, “It’s a good thing, I’m going to tell you how great it is! I’m going to tell you my story, do it! Thoughtfully, yada yada, but do it!” Conversations with my brother and other people who have his story have really given me pause. I don’t tell people to rush out and adopt anymore. I encourage them to think of other ways they can enact belonging in their communities and not to think that adoption is the only way or the best way.”