“I am happy to say that my prayers were answered at the age of nine when my biological brother and I were adopted by two people that are now my mom and dad in every sense of the word. God delivered me to a family that never once wavered in their un- conditional love and support as they walked my painful healing journey by my side. The truth is, early trauma changes who you are. You can either let it take you, or you can decide to fight it. I was determined to fight.”
Tag Archives: Trauma
How My “Brand” of 20 THINGS Developed
“I was adopted at ten days of age for the cost of $55.98! My parents loved me, but my Dad was abusive and Mom, neglectful. At age 20, I was married to the love of my life and we had two daughters. When I anticipated their birth, I began thinking about my birth mother for the first time ever. My parents told me about her when I was very young, but I couldn’t absorb the information. They were ahead of their time in that regard.”
Things Not Seen
“I thought I was pretty well adjusted. I could articulate my feelings about being adopted clearly, and I had made peace with the perpetual unanswered questions that come with being adopted. There was just one catch—my physical body didn’t agree.”
Life of an Indian Adoptee
“I definitely feel that if I wasn’t adopted my life would be different and probably better. Adoptees are taken from everything, their culture, family, birth mother, country, and people expect us to be ok. My number one trauma growing up, and still until this day, is not knowing who my birth mother is. It’s been frustrating to know how many birthdays, holidays, graduations, and achievements of mine that she’s missed.”
A Difficult Path to a Hope Filled Future
“One of the things that I struggled with when I was first adopted was bonding with my new mom. This went on for quite a while. I bet my mom thought this would go on forever. If there was one person that I was the rudest to, it was definitely my mom. But as I look back I realize that no matter what kind of trouble I got myself into, I knew that my mom loved me no matter what.”
An Interview with Kelley Nikondeha
“One of the changes for me is that I do not want to be telling everybody to adopt. When I was younger, even as an earlier adult I would have told most people, “It’s a good thing, I’m going to tell you how great it is! I’m going to tell you my story, do it! Thoughtfully, yada yada, but do it!” Conversations with my brother and other people who have his story have really given me pause. I don’t tell people to rush out and adopt anymore. I encourage them to think of other ways they can enact belonging in their communities and not to think that adoption is the only way or the best way.”
Twice Adopted
“It’s not the new life that my adoptive parents gave me which changed my fate but the eternal life God has given me through Jesus that changed my life from bad karma to unbelievably good eternal karma as the beloved Son of God, the Creator of the universe.”